because i want my father to call me doctor

          It feels odd talking about my path to graduate school on my blog for a freshman level course (SUS110), but here I am re-tooling with a science/sustainability academic background on my path to apply to Ph.D programs in sustainability. I am quite nervous about applying for graduate school this fall. Finding a program with full funding is very important to me and to achieve this there are many things I need to accomplish. Honestly, I find the pressure (I put on myself) stressful. Sustainability is a hot field and it is likely the job I will work after graduate school does not yet exist. Ideally I will be working in some form of direct action to solve current and future challenges. The applications deadlines are this fall and between now and then there is so much to do!

• I need to narrow down the list of schools I want to attend – this includes doing extensive research on current program faculty and research to ensure the programs are a good fit for me and if possible visiting the schools.
• I need to identify and three professors who can write stellar letters of recommendation on my behalf. This is not as easy as I had hoped. I have one amazing letter set and ready to go but I need two more and this makes me nervous. I want to ask a professor from my undergrad years but she is retiring in May and I am not sure after 10 years and with her impending retirement she will still be a good option. Not to mention the concern I have over finding they ever-elusive third letter.
• I need to update my CV and find someway to describe all of the awesome I have learned, created, and participated in over the past few years. This is especially critical as it is what perspective schools will use to assign RA and TA positions. 
•  I need to send transcripts from multiple schools, GRE scores, and other documents.

          This list continues on with several more things I need to accomplish just to apply. It is all a bit stressful, but none of the above things are nearly as stressful as the pressure I feel regarding the personal essay required by all of these programs. In addition to serving as a writing sample, this very sort (usually no more than three pages) essay is used to clarify my specific goals in seeking a graduate education. Something tells me this flippant answer I usually give to family and friends “because I want to make my father call me doctor” will probably not suffice.  

The simple truth: I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I WANT TO FOCUS. 

          The past two years of science based undergraduate coursework have left me interested in more areas of sustainability than I previously knew existed. I began my journey wanting to focus on water in the developing world, while this is still a huge concern for me I’m not sure if this is the best focus for my research and graduate work. But if you ask me where I think I would like to focus, I am unable to identify anything specific. Gahhhh! I’m having a sustainability identity crisis. At first I was hopeful this blog would help me direct my concerns, but instead this blog has only furthered my confusion and left me in a panic!

The clock is ticking I have 5 months to find a focus!

AND....Just in case you are thinking about applying to grad school, I found this video super helpful!